Conflict Resolution

Conflict will happen in a relationship. You can take action to minimize the conflict – chose a partner who has similar values, don’t sweat the small stuff, keep the romance going – but arguments will still happen. You need two things to resolve conflict.

Win-Win

Stop thinking in terms of win-lose and start thinking in […]

Passive, Agressive or Assertive?

How do you get your needs met? Do you—

Let other people mow over your boundaries (passive)? Mow over other people’s boundaries (aggressive)? Respect other people’s boundaries while maintaining your own (assertive)?

If you want to learn how to get your needs met and strengthen your relationships at the same time, then learn assertive communication […]

Passive Behavior

When you are passive you fail stand up for yourself. You allow your rights to be violated.

Characteristics Indirect, hidden bargains, emotional dishonesty You feel hurt, anxious, possibly angry later The other person feels guilty or superior Fails to achieve goals Other person chooses for you Examples “I guess I’m just stupid.” “I don’t want […]

Aggressive Behavior

When you are aggressive you stand up for yourself in a way that violates the rights of another person.

Characteristics Domineering You feel righteous and superior The other person feels hurt, humiliated, angry and vengeful Achieves goals by hurting others and making enemies You make choices for the other person Aims for “I win—you lose” […]

Assertive Behavior

When you are assertive you stand up for yourself in a way that does not violate the rights of another person.

Characteristics Direct You feel confident and self-respecting The other person feels valued and respected May achieve your goals Each person chooses for themselves How to Be Assertive Aim for Win-Win Make “I” statements Express […]