Assertive Behavior

Couple talking assertivelyWhen you are assertive you stand up for yourself in a way that does not violate the rights of  another person.


  • Direct
  • You feel confident and self-respecting
  • The other person feels valued and respected
  • May achieve your goals
  • Each person chooses for themselves

How to Be Assertive

  • Aim for Win-Win
  • Make “I” statements
  • Express your wants, needs, feelings and ideas
  • Allow others to express their wants, needs, feelings and ideas
  • Use open, direct body language


  • “I would like to talk to you about <fill in the blank>.”
  • “I am angry right now.”
  • “I do not have time to take you to the store right now, but I can later today.”
  • “Hello.  I live above you and your music is very loud. Would you turn it down, please?”

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