Conflict Resolution

Conflict will happen in a relationship. You can take action to minimize the conflict – chose a partner who has similar values, don’t sweat the small stuff, keep the romance going – but arguments will still happen. You need two things to resolve conflict.

Win-Win

Stop thinking in terms of win-lose and start thinking in […]

Passive Behavior

When you are passive you fail stand up for yourself. You allow your rights to be violated.

Characteristics Indirect, hidden bargains, emotional dishonesty You feel hurt, anxious, possibly angry later The other person feels guilty or superior Fails to achieve goals Other person chooses for you Examples “I guess I’m just stupid.” “I don’t want […]

Aggressive Behavior

When you are aggressive you stand up for yourself in a way that violates the rights of another person.

Characteristics Domineering You feel righteous and superior The other person feels hurt, humiliated, angry and vengeful Achieves goals by hurting others and making enemies You make choices for the other person Aims for “I win—you lose” […]

Assertive Behavior

When you are assertive you stand up for yourself in a way that does not violate the rights of another person.

Characteristics Direct You feel confident and self-respecting The other person feels valued and respected May achieve your goals Each person chooses for themselves How to Be Assertive Aim for Win-Win Make “I” statements Express […]

3 Mistakes to Avoid When Texting

Texting can be a useful and fun part of a healthy relationship. But texting can also cause problems. Here are the 3 serious texting problems that I encounter with my clients –

Misunderstandings. Don’t expect texting to result in perfect communication. Do clarify when you think your partner is being hurtful. Excessive Texting. Don’t send […]

Excessive Texting

If you send 50 texts in an hour and don’t get a response, you are texting too much. Remember your partner can not always respond immediately.

Usually when I see a client who practices excessive texting, it represents emotional insecurities. These cannot and should not be dealt with by texting.

If you feel insecure about […]

Misunderstandings When Texting

Talking Is More Than Words

When we talk to someone face-to-face—

We see expressions We see body language We hear emotion We see gestures.

This is a two-way street – we see them and they see us.

Texting Is Mainly Just Words

Give your partner a break! Don’t assume you know exactly what they meant […]

5 Rules for Texting in a Healthy Relationship

These simple rules will strengthen your relationship.

Have a Purpose. Reminders – “Remember dinner tonight at your favorite restaurant!” Arrangements – “I’ll pick you up at 7.” Flirt – “I love to touch your hand!” Moderation. If you both are bored and have time on your hands, then text away. Get to know each other. […]