The Holiday Season

This is can be a very stressful time, filled with to much to do and and so many things to take care of.  This season can and sometimes does bring out the best and worst in ourselves leaving us with unhappy feelings about ourselves and others.  It is important to remember that this season comes and goes every year and most people get through it unscathed. It can be a pleasant experience if we take good care of ourselves and don’t overload ourselves. Consider attending to the important things and letting go of the notion that we must get everything done perfectly. Relax and enjoy the relationships with friends, family and those close to you. Be thankful for all the good and positive things in your life and make sure you give those things more attention than the things you are not happy with. Remember that this season is time-limited and life will return to your normal routine soon enough.

Trust

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It is important for both parties to be in the relationship long enough for that trust to be established. Relationships based on pure attraction will often have problems when that flush of attraction is not so intense as in the beginning. When trust is established sometimes that trust later is broken. It is hard to reestablish trust once it has been broken but not impossible. Both people have to want to and be willing to engage in the hard work it takes to reestablish that trust. It is not easy or quickly done and requires motivation and loving patience. It is often successful and worth the effort if the relationship is valued and can allow the relationship to be stronger due to the effort put into improving it.

Healthy Life

A healthy person is one who works out physically and mentally every day.  Physically can mean something a simple as a walk around the block or if you can manage a trip to the gym for a more intense workout that is good also.  Mentally can be as simple as writing in a journal about the problems that are causing you to be anxious or worried or it can be reading something that engages you in a positive way and is relaxing , light fun reading. Both will most likely have a positive effect on your day.  There are numerous daily affirmation books out there that possibly can be helpful.

Angry Feelings

We are human beings with the whole range of emotions. Anger is an emotion that we have the right to feel.   Anger is not the problem. The choices that we make on how to act on anger are  the problem. There are healthy appropriate way to act on our feelings, there are also unhealthy inappropriate ways to act on our feelings.  So the anger is not the problem, the way we manage and act on it is the problem. If we choose poorly how to act on our anger it can and often does cause serious consequences to ourselves and others. It can cause loss of friendships, employment, and relationships with our significant others, including our children. If these things do not matter them the problems will persist until you make a decision to stop and find better ways to live your life without the serious consequences that you have experienced.

Quality Time

If you are spending more time working, on your phone, or playing video games your relationship will most likely suffer. Consider which is more important and spend more time with your significant other unless they are not more important. In that case there are serious problems in your relationship. Possibly stopping and considering this could be a wake up call.

Responding Calmly

All emotions are a part of our life. Even negative emotions such as anger are simply feelings and are no problem depending on the way we act on them. If we act out inappropriately there may be consequences that impact our lives in a negative way. If we stop and think about our response and choose a rational, calm manner generally the outcome is more positive. Sometimes we respond without thinking only to say something we regret. It is often hard to take back angry responses. So it is best to take just a moment to think about our responses.

Summertime

Weather has an effect on humans, so as the weather heats up sometimes this can trigger irritation and anger.  This can and does create problems. It is a good time to remember some calming coping responses and remember this hot, humid weather will pass into fall which is very nice here.  Take good care of yourself during this season by finding creative ways to stay calm and cool.

Good Times

Often when there are difficulties in our relationships we tend to forget the things that brought us together.  Remember the good times and recreate those good times in the present. Hopefully friendship, attraction and love were where we started and those things can be revived if we take the time.

Past Problems

Many couples cannot let go of things that have happened in the past.  The past is over, carved in stone and can not be changed. So to spend much time rehashing past issues is as waste of good time and energy. Time would be better spent working on the immediate issue  that is causing problems. That is something that can be negotiated so that both parties find a solution that can be addressed in the present and hopefully allow both to move forward.  Just remember that the past is gone, over and when tomorrow gets here it is today. So we need to invest our energy on what is going on in the now.