Past Problems

Many couples cannot let go of things that have happened in the past.  The past is over, carved in stone and can not be changed. So to spend much time rehashing past issues is as waste of good time and energy. Time would be better spent working on the immediate issue  that is causing problems. That is something that can be negotiated so that both parties find a solution that can be addressed in the present and hopefully allow both to move forward.  Just remember that the past is gone, over and when tomorrow gets here it is today. So we need to invest our energy on what is going on in the now.

2 comments to Past Problems

  • Julie

    What is your advice when one person will not stop bringing up past issues? How can I encourage them to move forward?

  • It requires for you to learn to be assertive and not passively continue to allow their aggressive behavior. A simple assertive statement would be to respond calmly that bringing up the past does not help and suggest that you stick to what the problem is right now. Sometimes you will need to repeat this until they are convinced that you want to address the present problem.